The Little Things

The other night we were watching The Good Night Show on Sprout TV with the hosts, Nina and Star. Lily loves it. All of the sudden Lily says "Nina-nah". Wow!

And then today Jim and I were just watching her and she starts going through her animal sounds she knows -- Go-go for goat, ba-ba for sheep and then she starts chirping like a bird. Then she raised her hand up (she was lying on her back) and signed bird!!!

Up You Go

Lily will not STOP tall kneeling lately -- all on her own mind you. She does it to our ottoman and now to our low entertainment center base. Thank God she can't reach the TV I made the living room gorgeous last week -- dusted, vacuumed, everything -- and now it looks like a warzone. She is getting into things she never even bothered with ebfore...and BOY am I happy!!!

Keep Calm and Carry On

I knew had to post this sooner rather than later...

I don't know what she has in store for her in the future. I have hung on to hope this whole time from her birth. I have not given up once to think that she might be like any other little girl. I didn't get to take her right home after she was born. Granted I knew about her heart condition and that she would be taken from one hospital to Children's almost immediately following her birth. It felt surreal. But now she has been home for a very long time and turned 3 here, in our home.She is not a three year old. Not in her head. She has autism and I denied it to the Doctor straight to her face, stating that Charge has autistic-like syndromes. But since February I have noticed things. She was the youngest littlest feistiest girl in her class this past school year. She wants to be by herself, play alone, not be held. Just once I would like to just take her to somewhere, anywhere, and not have to pack formula and syringes and have her cry if we sit her down in the grass. Just GO.


I don't want to lose hope. I don't want Doubt to rear its ugly head in our home or in my head or heart. How could I doubt her when she has come through so much all by herself. Granted she's been through alot of surgeries, and doctors and nurses have helped. But Lily pulled through and I have to remember that. I just want her to pull through life. I don't WANT to be unhappy with this version of Normal that we have and that so many other families have. I hate not being able to read the last chapter in a mystery and, mind you, I love good one. I always try to guess who did it and how it will turn out. In this case it isn't possible and I guess I have to accept it.

Fast forward to the other night: When Lily was too tired to fight sleep anymore, she laid on me while I sat in the "rock the baby to sleep" chair that we bought before she was even born. She simply settled in on top of me watching Sprout TV. And it was kind of, well, normal. :).

Rainy Days and Fridays

Lily has been doing what I call "side crab crawls" lately. She kind of has her head down like in a 5-point crawl and scrabbles across the floor like a little crab. She loves standing with my help. She'll scoot over to me if I put my hands out and start to get up before I can almost grab both hands! She also has been tall kneeling next to our ottoman. Reminder - never put your purse or coupon box there if you want to be able to find your wallet the next day and not spend it looking -- and filing coupons all over again!